The other side of Devotion
by Ensteinium
Summary: The massacre never happened. Except for the fact that it did. AU, Mature themes. COMPLETE.


**[The other side of Devotion] **

Pale smoke curled in the air, creating deformed spirals and patched clouds. The entire room was covered in a grey haze, silent and unmoving except for the slow and quiet breathing. Bottles littered the floor, pills spilled on the table, empty shot glasses stacked in a sloppy pyramid. The lone body stared unseeing, at the ceiling beams, glazed eyes half-lidded. A thin wisp of smoke uncurled from his lips and floated into the air. He chuckled quietly, a slow and raspy noise.

Groping blindly, he reached for another glass, amber liquid swishing and spilling out the sides as he clumsily pulled it closer. He swallowed it in one gulp, chasing it down with a small white pill. Chuckling dementedly, he reached up with a pale and spindly hand as he tried to catch the air. The dartboard was smiling at him, he decided as he watched the multi-coloured lights dance around him. They were waving and rolling and tumbling, in and out of the ceiling beams which had mysteriously turned into a waffle. A large yellow square in the middle, that had to be butter, right where the light fixture had been. The lamp in the corner was red now- red like raspberries and cherries and fire. Red like blood and pain and his brother's eyes. Red like-

"Sasuke!" He stopped, staring at his hands, now pierced with the glass of the broken lamp, red with the blood of his dead kin, torn and shredded like-

"Sasuke, what are you doing?! Stop- stop!"

Something soft- velvety and silk and all those other soft things- was touching him. He looked up, eyes wide. His eyes that were bleeding and black and red with his brother's sacrifice-

"Sasuke..." The voice, the soft thing again. Why was it here? "Sasuke, stop. Unclench your hand, I need to get the glass out." He looked up and saw strawberries. Green and pink and creamy white. Strawberry flowers and fruit and-

"Stop!"

There was a stinging in his cheek... Had a bee stung him? No... The strawberry did. The strawberry stung him; yes, that made sense. "Sasuke please..." Someone sobbed. It was a broken sob, a woman's sob."... Come on. Let's get you out of here."

The world was spinning now, moving, racing. It was dizzy, like when he didn't have the Sharingan. Yes, maybe the Sharingan would help. "Wh- No, Sasuke stop. Don't touch your eyes! There's still glass in your hands!" The softness was stopping him, blocking him from his brother's last gift. Straightening, he lashed out, lightning flashing in his palm-

"Hold him down!"

"You get the other arm!"

"Stop him!"

"Get that knife away from him!"

Silence. White. Bad white. White like his family crest, stained with blood-

"Sasuke shut up!" The voice was different now. It changed. Maybe it was a jutsu? Yes, a jutsu, probably one of the forbidden ones from Orochimaru- "Shut the hell up bastard!" Bastard? Yes, that sounded familiar. "There are no- no 'jutsu', alright! There's no jutsu or Sharingan or anything!" A choked gasp. "You- you stupid... Bastard..."

"... Naruto, stop. He doesn't get it, you know that. He never gets it." Ah, the strawberry again. Naruto, she said? So a strawberry and a fishcake. An image of a scarecrow ran through his mind. A snake, a weasel, a shark. "A whole zoo..." He murmured, voice rasping painfully. What a scarecrow was doing in a zoo was a good question, but somehow it just seemed right.

"What's he talking about?"

"No idea... He mentioned Itachi again..."

The words are hard to hear now, like whisps of smoke going through his ears.

"Still thinks... killed... family?"

The world faded out in white fog, curling through his eye and wrapping him in a white cloud as he fell into the arms of oblivion.

* * *

**Right so, if you didn't understand, Sasuke jumped off the deep end, for no apparent reason. This is in the normal world, so AU I guess, and the massacre never happened. Sasuke's fucking crazy so he copes with drugs and alcohol.**

**I'm actually really proud of this piece, even though I had totally forgotten it existed and don't remember writing it. :D**


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